I just got home after having an interesting conversation with a friend about another troubled youth and the mental health issues of a directionless society.
Troubled youth, mental health are things that I feel strongly about, because once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, long ago circa 2000, pre smart phone era, I found myself in a position, on a downward spiral and out of control.
In fact, if you could have asked one of my friends parents at the time, they would have said something like,
“Tino is on the fast track to jail or an early grave, he’s got so much potential, smart, beautiful, but he’s running from something and he’s running as fast as he can, he’s another wasted youth, always getting into trouble, and just when he looks like he’s got his act together you see, he’ll pull his next biggest stunt that will take the icing off the cake in a cake shop.”
You see I was a troubled at risk youth through the ages of 15-18. Smoking weeds, making homebrew and hijacking the occasional magic mushrooms from the nearby dairy farmer and generally getting into mischief, stealing and roaming the streets at night. I fell in with a crowd that were already well established and it felt like I had to make my way up the pecking order and thoroughly live in a state of risk, but I didn’t really know why.
I lost myself, my direction and will power to do good.
Looking back now it’s really obvious that my rebellion was away for me to deal with the inner struggles of having lost my mother when I was 12yrs old to a drug overdose. And so I rebelled against what most people accepted as everyday life, school, uni, work, 2.5 kids, mortgage and in general I broke all the rules of the status quo.
I remember thinking that I was on a mission to help people and to become the canary in the mine, shrieking when it wasn’t safe, to wake people up. Now I realise that the canary is the first to die from the toxic gas, and that is the signal which people are looking for. So rather than becoming a misunderstood martyr, I changed my approach.
At the time and in the moment I marked it down as a experiential exploration into the darkest parts of society, little did I know how far down that rabbit hole went.
And so as a brief interval, I ask myself the question?
Q. “What is one thing that would have helped me to steer clear of these perils and direction in life?”
A. “I desperately wanted to experience the sense of adventure in it’s fullest capacity, danger, risk and the road of trials of self-sufficiency on my own self-styled adventure”. I remember thinking, if I had to fend for myself in the wild, I would certainly change my life and become a man in a matter of months… or die trying.
Am I crazy for thinking that, or have cultures known this for thousands of years and even created and/or facilitated for initiations and rites of passage to naturally test testosterone fueled youth against the only force that can ground that energy. Nature.
It seemed that all throughout my formal schooling and societal upbringing, I was constantly being told to ask for permission from the ‘qualified’ person, teachers, police and doctors at that time in my life and what stuck the whole time was a sense of knowing that I knew myself better than they knew me. And with retrospect often times I knew more about them, than they knew of themselves. And that was one of the first tools that I came to on my own accord. I didn’t exactly know how it worked but I found it useful in the circumstances when I had to collaborate and even influence my peers at the time.
Uninitiated peers like me, who were discovering the hidden dangers of the modern world through immersion.
As i started to see through the veil of the life that i was caught up in, I also started making attempts to break free of my patterns and my peer group, my tribe. The situation is not pretty, but through my years of 16-18 I getting blind drunk on the weekends.. I’m pretty sure that is a cultural norm these days and a daily toke of some weeds helped me to block out the dragon from rearing its head.
This only lasted so long, and I noticed a deeper calling from within me, beckoning me to make a move towards the youthful image of success that i had of myself growing up. The business man with a skyscraper, or the renaissance man with a beautiful mahogany Study full of books of the past.
So i made some feeble attempts to change the course of my own life. “Didn’t go drinking last weekend with the boys”, “Haven’t smoked weed in a month,” these efforts were valuable as they shone light at the end of the tunnel and gave me hope that there was something stronger within. At least I was having some success towards getting started on my true life path.
Then one night after relapsing in my old ways, I woke up at 2am in the stillness and silence of an eery night. I had missed the party I was at, Why? Because I drank too much and passed out at 10pm, Not smart Tino. So when I woke up on that fateful morning I knew I had some decisions to make. I walked up to my car, a second hand 1990 VN Commadore station wagon that I paid $3000.00 cash for, and I thought to myself it would be a challenge and a great life test to drive home. Now by this stage I wasn’t falling over my own feet, I felt well rested and clear of my thoughts, feelings and actions.
So as I began driving home (obviously still intoxicated at the time) I felt my mind wonder and make inquirys into the deeper physiological state that was creating the patterns that I was seeming play out in my life. I got to thinking of stories I had heard of where the hero is thrust on a new adventure from a external or circumstantial input. So while I was carefully driving home, I asked myself the question,
How can I thrust myself on a new path? on a new journey that would require me to change radically and force me to discover my calling in life.?
From this simple asking a question came an answer. I could have a near death experience, That would change my life I thought to myself. That’s probably the under current as to why I initially wanted to drive home drunk that night.
I could drive off that cliff coming up soon (Mt St.Helena Byron Bay) But I thought twice about this, because I wanted to survive and I considered my chances for survival were Low to none by driving off the edge and tumbling down to the bottom in the dark. So I scrapped that idea.
But as I approached the lookout I saw a semi-trailer parked up on the side of the road, with the driver probably taking a nap in his cabin. As I glided over the crest of the hill at 100km/h I slowly begun to steer off the road and into the path of the parked truck. I took a breath and closed my eyes and the last thing I remember seeing was the headlights hitting the wall of truck and then everything went Black.
That was My Reset in 2003.
After more than 10 years on the metaphorical journey of self discovery. I have returned and now it’s my goal to inspire a rise of humanity’s great heroic qualities within the balanced, well rounded and free Individual, And to add more value to your world than you ever dreamed possible by giving you tools that you can immediately use to improve the quality of your life journey and world view.
I was born-and-rased 1st generation Australian of Germanic heritage, there’s nothing more than a passion for adventure, a laptop and an intellectual tool belt of self knowledge. I live to bring you the light of truth, so we may all grow in the light direction.
Now I help people to find meaning and dream big, by hero’s journeying through life. Along the way I’ve even discovered a crop circle structure that allows you to anticipate, track and predict the results of your life’s journey.
In fact, I’m using it right now to plan my one, three and ten year hero’s journey’s and the ultimate course of my life. It’s kinda like an app in your minds eye, to get the tactics, strategy and a bit of structure for finding meaning in your life.
But i was not always like this, after my mother took her own life in 1996, I became a troubled youth. But in 2003 i turned it all around by a Forced Reset.
You know when your computer freezes, nothing works and all you can do is a Forced Reset? Yeah, Well that’s what I did with my body and brain. I crashed my car and forced the reset button of my life…
This is what it looks like when you suddenly Stop in the middle of downward spiraling momentum,
I Do Not Recommend This.
Because starting from scratch really sucks the frontal lobe right out of you, brain damage is no fun. Even if you have the Tony Robbins – Personal Power II. It’s a slow climb to the top but i also managed to get the edge just after finishing high school.
It wasn’t just self-improvement week, it was self-improvement as a life motto. All of a sudden the world opened up to me and there were quickly not enough hours in the day to consume all the developmental material I could get my hands on.
With the heros journey process change in self quickly became natural and I found it easy to shed my skin and reinvent myself.
It was then that I observed that unlike others around me, I was on a mission, I was blazing a trail and self-styling my own path of life education. I quickly learnt to sell like Rich Dad, Poor Dad recommends and started a business to finance my hunger for knowledge.
Over the years that were to follow, I quietly continued collecting the tools and techniques of life and during that time it has become a huge resource of human excellence.
And the glue that ties all of it together is story sequence of the hero’s journey, It’s also Huge in Hollywood for making the biggest blockbuster POP!, It’s the heart of great stories in movies, It’s also the most effective means of convey a message to any audience.
But the one thing that i realized that no one is talking about is, how profound a modality it is for personal development and self-growth, It’s the Lock, Stock and Double Barrel of personal development. Its the rocket fuel for personal growth and development in a changing world.
So in 2013, when I risked it all and took to the sea, survived and returned. watch ‘rookie sailors’ here, This also marked the return of my 10 year hero’s journey to find the heights of human potential in the pursuits of knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
The Gifts of The Goddess, The Rewards of my 10 year hero’s journey, have been captured and preserved within the members only area on this site. For what took me tens years to find, you’ll get neatly presented in a 3 year journey through 33 modules of the Seven Arts and Sciences of The Hero.
It’s where You’ll learn practical wisdom from me and my posse of rising stars as well as world-renowned thought leaders.