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Tino Beth

3 Years as a Starving Indian Boy

Dream Diary Entry – 3 Years as a Starving Indian Boy.

On the morning of August 2012, at our Currumbin Valley Cottage.

I remember very few dreams so vividly as this one.

I awoke as if any normal night, i rolled over to look at the time, and found that it was 2:00am exactly. having no trouble in falling asleep I rolled over, closed my eyes and was asleep.

I found everything around me crystal clear and white, everywhere up down all around was white, I found it very familiar but i didn’t know why. then i felt the presence of someone else in the room and when i went to look around, i found myself in a much different place.

I opened my eyes and found a hot dry and harsh world. I found myself in such a position of limited ability, that i couldn’t get up, i was begging for food. i found the body i was in to be so weak that i could not motivate the form to move, all it and in this case” I” knew what to do was to beg, never having eaten a proper meal makes one’s body incredibly weak and as a growing boy at 4years old i found my situation very dire indeed.

Sometimes i was given the food, but it was not of substance and it basically just kept me alive. I actually rarely remember eating at all, and white bread and rice was all i can really remember eating over the whole 3years i spent looking through the eyes of this young boy. Now 2 years later, all the 1000 days I witnessed this life have melted into one.

To be honest no t much was really going on. I lived with 3 of my brothers in a cardboard box house. one like i remember making and playing in when i was a child in my own life. the whole life consisted of hardship and misery.

I remember seeing one of my brothers leave under the perception that he had of having met some one who would offer him food and shelter in exchange for work. we advised against it, and that eventually turned into an argument as to whether or not that would actually be for the best…(what ever that means when in our position, but we’ll find out more about that as we go)

My days were categorized into 2 types the days when the weather was fine and mostly hot, and when it would rain for weeks on end.

On fine days we had a better chance of finding and being given food. on rainy days was bitterly miserable, cold and hard and obviously wet.

What i noticed was how busy the streets were, with so many people rushing around. mot many people carried food and even fewer people shared what they had with me. occasionally I was given money, but this presented another set of challenges, namely how to buy something when everyone knows you as a beggar. I have been cheated of my money by merchants, who claimed that i had stolen it and refused to compromise and understand. I even managed to buy rice one time only to have it stolen from me, and once when i did get it back to my camp, I realized i didn’t know how to cook it or even have anywhere to cook it. Those times were torture, knowing  that i had food but being unable to eat it, i suspect one of my brothers died by dehydration after eating a handful of uncooked rice and falling asleep with no water in sight.

Not only was the whole situation humiliating, but it was also humbling. I got my greatest learning when i was on the street watching thousands of people go by and it was then that i got to witness many different types of people and their personality. The good the bad and the ugly. This was my greatest joy actually, and i took to the streets for the study of people. It was a rich vocation, i had an unlimited amount of experience to take in, and in a way it was addictive. this was how my pursuit for knowledge manifested in this life, and i believe that because of it. I had a driving purpose to out live everything i had grown up with. this one internal act5ivity of watching, observing , and comparing the different shapes styles and levels of humanity in the people that passed  my by.

Many times my curiosity took me to places where beggars were not meant to be seen, and i was spat on kicked and even taken away and dumped where they dumped the garbage. sometimes i was given food, and even offered food and shelter in exchange for the lowest type of work available. but i declined. for i wanted to continue the line of study that was the one thing that i lived for.

It would eventually be my undoing as well. One time i found something so interesting in someone who was so well off that i was beaten for it. I took the beating as per usual but this time it seemed like they wanted revenge and they managed to break some bones which made everything so much more difficult.

by this time i had worked out a deal with an old local man who who saw kindness upon me. In exchange for the money i was given  when i was on the street, this old man would supply me with simple meals of rice and household leftovers. it was a decent arrangement as it allowed me to continue in my vocation, the study of humans in the face of a helpless sufferer. By this this i was quite content with my lot in life and as long as i have a few coins coming in i could afford to survive and continue as i was. that was until one day when the old man got sick and one of his sons had to take over the family business. it was then that the younger son chased me away and cursed me for bringing sickness upon his father.

This had an effect of heart break upon me, as the only one whom had treated me as family, had also thrown me out. and this coincided with the handing over of a considerable amount of money that one wealthy lady secretly gave me when she saw pity on me and when out of her way to hand me a large note that was more money that i had ever seen in my whole life combined. This also occurred right around the turning of the seasons and the day were growing colder and shorter.

So now with a broken heart, broken bones, no food, no money and no one who cared. I found my thirst for my passion wain, and soon i did not even leave my cardboard shelter. It was tough on the streets as my new brothers who were less skilled than i was at begging also felt things become much more difficult.

Then things started looking very dim, I had lost all my straight and found all my aches and pains start to dissolve into a pure emptiness devoid of feeling. I found there was a gradual release that was washing over me, as everything started to dissolve into nothingness. It was I that was dissolving into nothingness and as i lay there, i found my passion, my vocation again and i realized that i had the ability to see myself pass over into the new world.

By this point i was so elert and begun to experience such an amazing rapture wash over me. that it was then that i realized the incredible ecstasy that could be felt in the transition into death. Now as i felt this amazing release, the ending of the struggle for life, a truly divine feeling of freedom from anything that requires effort. I noticed the white light begin to drift in all around me like a fog, until the release of life was felt like it was complete and i looked around and found myself in a room with white all around.

I felt at home again. and now the presents in the room, spoke to me and asked me what i had just been doing, where i was and how was that experience. and instead of allowing me to answer i was encouraged to look into a round circle of reflective liquid, ans that’s where i experienced a complete revising of that whole life’s journey and all the value that i had experienced in such a short life, I re-realized all the realizations that i had once made and literally in a split second saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes.

Actually it was the life of the starving Indian boy. but it reminded me of the fact that i had come from another set of experiences and was being given a second opportunity to live a life all the way to death in that dream.

How to take in and embrace the inevitability of death and the qualities that facilitate the transformation of the consciousness through the veil of the release of death.

Realizing this, and recognizing where i was and who i was, i looked around wanting to ask many questions and just as that happened, as if the navigator that was there helping me vanished and reminded me that all will be answered in time and then i found my eyes open back in my bed in the Currumbin Valley Cottage, i rolled over to reference the time and found that it read exactly 3:00am, and it was then that i was able to recount 3 years of life experience in one hour of dream state.

This experience has changed my life in ways that i am still coming ot understand. I hope that you have also enjoyed the experience and that it helps you find peace in your life surrounding death.

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